Growth Can Happen:

Our relationships can be repetitive patterns of our attitudes and behaviors. Attitudes, values and beliefs are learned during childhood from parents, family members, role models and/or other caregivers. Examples include:

• prioritizing work over family

• difficulty having fun

• over-dependence on others

• avoiding conflict

• too independent

• fear of failure

• excessive spending

• fear of closeness

• caretaking

• keeping grudges

Skills Learned: Stress and emotional management skills are also learned. Over time, some of them can become addictive. These addictive qualities may include eating habits, having a drink or two, drug use, gambling or shopping. Addictive qualities not only impact the “doer” but also the partner and/or the entire family.

The Road to Re-balance

As we begin to see how our previous attitudes and behaviors impact our relationships we need to move toward finding a new balance in our lives. Re-balance becomes a big part of the solution. How do we accomplish this? By implementing new attitudes and behaviors into our relationships. Examples include:

open communication clear boundaries

humor acceptance of self/others

resolving conflict mistakes are accepted

encouraging personal growth respecting privacy safety with closeness trustfulness